Daily chronic pain shakes our lives and bodily feelings. It affects our routines, the way we show, eat, dress, walk, or drive our cars. It influences our touch and our feeling and wish of being touched.
In this sense, eventually it also affects our sexual live. While being in chronic pain we often think whether making love is possible, or should we give up our sexuality, ignoring proximity and intimacy of being with the beloved person.
How many fears come together with pain? How many failures in sexual life we are experiencing daily? How many “no” we say to those we desire? And how many walls we are raising and how often we break up our most precious relations?
Our sexuality involves an openness to the other, however, pain locks us inside, creating a traumatic bubble of which we are not even aware. Being vulnerable is not only feeling strong pain but also attempting to break a traumatic bubble.
This getting out from being locked in pain is to accept to be exposed: to share your pain in sexual interaction, to wait for the touch, to feel the kiss on the skin, to welcome the most intimate proximity of bodies and to allow the other person to heal you.
The hardest teaching of pain is to welcome the beloved one in shared sexuality.